Dog Gone It!
I might have touched on this before, but I'm insanely close to my furry roommates. Not just the adorable-manic Rae, or the daper-whiny Moose, (Great’er Danes) -- but also the flat-fucking-lying Dorian-Gray-runner-up, Pippi’n (Cat that is stupid big). I see other people's cats walking on keyboards, and I'm like fairly sure he would break mine--he has to be like 25 lbs.
Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!
Now I know Pip’s deal, and I realize he really wants to be loved as much as those others. He will ask for food, immediately ask the other bipedal food dispenser for their attention to the matter of missing food. The council of furless will try to confirm, but sometimes his play works very well. We don't check with each other and he rolls through the house very proud and dignified.
Most of the time that is the play. Sometimes I let him get me in there and I watch him wait like on me with confusion, I should be getting on to my task. The meow changes a bit on the second helping, it has a bit more exhaustion than the typical swift or curt (annoyed maybe?) meow that starts his countdown of kitty malfeasance.
Regardless, I decided to take it seriously this one time. Maybe he wanted a companion to eat with, or really is still hungry. Male cats get more water from their food than from a water source (at least that's what my brain is always reminding me, I should probably look it up some time to confirm, correct me in comments if you know).
To test his seriousness, I grabbed a handful of the dry food and put it in his bowl. I probably said something like, “if you are hungry, let's do some of this. Then I will crack open some of that." (Oh, yeah. I forgot to say that I talk to them like roommates.) He went to town.
I felt horrible for all those other times he beckoned me to tend to a need.
He got his luxury food twice that day and ate entirely too much--but not all. It was empty the next morning, so I'm sure he felt better. And perhaps feeling bad will jolt me into doing a different thing next time (it has most days since).
Omg! I didn't even open this to talk about the f’n Cat, bleh.
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Dog Gone Rituals
Almost every night, a ritual occurs. I can miss a few days in a row before Moose and Rae work in unison to resolve the unscheduled program.
For Rae, I put her in the crate get in there with her most of the way, lay her on her side and wrap her in her blanket. I will usually pet her down, she makes a very restful sigh and will usually pull my arm close or just lick what part of the arm is not petting her. I usually tell her good night, thanks for a good day, sorry bout the heat, or staying inside so long, etc. The ends usually are saying I'm gonna go spend time with Moose, and almost every time she tugs my arm with her paw like a toddler with a teddy bear. I love it, the whole experience. Sometimes I forget I'm there, letting my mind wander while I pet her ears, cheeks, neck, back, legs, and then repeat.
Soothing her, soothe me. I'm often amazed and confused as to why I don't ever remember the calming feelings this ritual brings to us both. Sigh.
Moose is different, but also kinda the same. He is massive. He doesn't want a blanket and will leave the room if I push the boundary (I don't anymore). He will get into the position he want and then wonder why I haven't started. Same basic setup, he is usually at the foot of the bed or on it (literally in my way). All four of his legs are straight out--like someone “cow tipped" him and he accepted his fate. Continuing to lay there, uninterested in any movement whatsoever (other than eyes).
I rub down his nose, cheek, head, ears, back, arms, back, legs, tail, and repeat. My hand is usually fully splayed out and covers as much of the places that seem to be possible aches and pains. I used to cuddle him like Rae, I am still nervous at night around him since we got our wires crossed and attacked each other a few months after having him. There has been more deliberate and clear communication since then, and I really see the situation as more my fault than his.
Doesn't matter, it broke our trust for about a year. Before getting through it, he wouldn't go to bed for at least 5 months unless I was already in the bed and the light was off. He suppressed his needs and we had to draw them out of him with new strategies.
Tonight we went through this ritual like other times before, but it hit different. While tucking in Rae i felt “home", comfort, relief, and relaxed. I saw Rae experience the same relief and we seemed synced in timing as well.
When I was petting moose though, I felt my back, arms, legs as though I was rubbing my hands on me while him. It was surreal, captivating even. I could feel some places as "meh” and others and relaxing and comforting. I could feel what I imagined he felt too. My skin crawling, jumping, and simply reacting to a touch that was not there. It was nice.
What happened?
I wasn't always this way with animals, at least I didn't see them as “partners" in any sort of sense. Perhaps I thought of them as soulless or instructional participants. My perspective probably use to see them more akin to “respect authority” instead of “unconditional loving.” I don't know for sure, I only know it wasn't what I have now.
I've had other animals, dogs, cats, rescues, fish, etc but I never felt of equal--by any means. That is different.
This new thing is falling in line with many other things I'm coming to understand about the world around me. Sometimes I'm tired of relearning, deprogramming, and seeing past so many fanatical illusions that surround us declaring our attention is theirs. Forcing rules, I find absurd or callous, on everyone WILLING to conceed their power.
I am unsure where this world will go yet, I see multiple likely outcomes, good is still being formulated and will cost the most. A thousand “meh'" we could settle for, and a handful of GG experiences for any side of the humanity imagined.
Till then, I will find the moments to cherish. When I remember why they are so important. I hope you do to friends. ❤️